What Do Iguanas Eat

AN INCIDENT

My classmate, Stas, found a real iguana last year. It was completely wild! If he left it alone for just a minute in a locked cage, the next minute it would show up* in a most unexpected places – like under a pillow or in someone’s pocket. A terrifying scream could be heard all over the neighborhood at such moments. His parents really hated it, to put it mildly*! Honestly, Stas was scared of it too, not just because it was creepy. The iguana bandit* wouldn’t ever lose a chance to bite* if you were near it. On one of these days when iguana disappeared again, Stas went to school just as he always did and suspecting nothing. The first lesson that day was biology, and we were learning about reptiles. When Stas sat down, a shadow quietly slipped out of his bag…

Barely five minutes had passed when a chilling shriek filled the school like water rushing out of a broken pipe. It was a sound the school’s headmaster had rarely heard. It’s been decades since these walls became his home (at least

on weekdays, 9 to 5

*), celebrating his 10th year as a headmaster just two days ago. He had even graduated from this very school 23 years ago. But what happened this morning, that was new! The shriek belonged to the biology teacher. Everyone in school knew that squeaky and annoying voice. As surprising as it was to hear just that voice since she was known to be a cool card* – like a samurai – and could dissect a frog without even flinching. But that day, when she pointed to the iguana’s guts on the poster on the wall and locked eyes with the real iguana, it was as if her own guts had dropped to the floor.

The biology teacher had never been afraid of reptiles, but the iguana completely caught her off guard. Not being able to think of any better*, she jumped onto the work table. Stas quickly realized what had happened and started chasing after his pet. He was almost there, nearly catching her, when the headmaster entered the room. In the confusion, the iguana darted out* through the half-open door. Deep silence hung in the air.

'What are you all doing?!' we heard headmaster’s voice after a while.

'We are talking about reptiles, sir!' answered Stas.

'Yes! I’m teaching kids how iguanas scream! Is it a problem?' the biology teacher chimed in, catching on to the idea