Tankograd
Chapter 1
NOTE: COMPOSITION OF THE TANKOGRAD PACK: VASYA – LEADER, SERGEY, OLEG, KIRILL, BOB, VALERA, MISHA, GRISHA, LEXA
VASYA (15) and his group of nine people enter the supermarket one by one, behind the adults, as if they were with their parents. After entering the shopping area, they distance themselves from the adults and gather in the depths of the store near the designated counters.
VASYA
Listen up, here's the deal. When I go, everyone follows me. And run full speed ahead. Security is here, fools.
SERGEY
And if they catch us?
VASYA
Just drop the merchandise on the floor and raise your hands. Now, aim at the goods and grab them on my command. Ready, everyone? Let's go, Tankograd Crew rules.
Suddenly, VASYA grabs a one-and-a-half-liter bottle of beer and a bag of chips. He tucks them under his arm and runs towards the exit. The others do the same, and they all run in a crowd towards the exit, which is near the cash registers, through the open entrance. Security guards and store employees rush to the exit and try to catch whoever they can, but those caught immediately drop the merchandise on the cashier's counter, raise their hands mischievously, and walk out onto the street without punishment. Meanwhile, those who were able to evade the ambush with the items run out onto the street and disappear into the yards. In the designated yard, the entire group of teenagers gathers.
OLEG
Respect, VASYA. You're quite the visionary. Coming up with something like that and it actually works. Look, guys, at how much beer and snacks we managed to snag.
VASYA
Let's stash our haul in the basement. And tonight, before the disco, we'll have some fun.
BOB
Let's make another splash at the supermarket?
VASYA
No. It's not feasible.
BOB
Why not?
VASYA
"Do you know the saying? One shell doesn't hit the same spot twice.
BOB
We're not a shell, but a flock..
VASYA
Tankograd flock.
SERGEY
(Indignant)
You fool?
Sergey nudges Bob in the shoulder.
SERGEY (continuing)
Listen, what is the elder saying to you?
VASYA
Calm down, Sergey. Just a few days, and the real fun begins.
OLEG
Let's hit another market, then?
VASYA
Do you want to hit all the spots at once, huh?
OLEG
What about it? Ok, go for it.
VASYA
And tomorrow, the day after tomorrow, Bebru will be sniffing? This will be our regular income before the disiconium. And you can make money in a different way.
KIRILL
There are a thousand of these supermarkets in the city, if not more.
VASYA
Yeah, that's right. It's a chain. They've definitely notified everyone online with just one click. The owner is one or two. It's a trading network, Kiryusha.
KIRILL
Yes, I still want easy money.
SERGEY
Go collect bottles over there.
KIRILL
Get out of here.
VALERA
Did you guys hear, our airfield has been renamed?
GRISHA
Airport, idiot.
VALERA
Who cares. Now it's named after someone named Kurchatov.
VALERA
Who is he?
MISHA
Yeah, some kind of writer. Or a poet.
VASYA
Alright, flock, it's time to head to the shopping bar.
OLEG
Let's go to the circus instead? Kirkorov is performing there today.
Everyone stands up and leaves the yard.
Chapter 2
In the corridor by the door of the" Physics" classroom, VASYA and his friends are standing. SERGEY approaches..
VASYA
So, did you bring it?
SERGEY
Yes.
Sergey hands over a tube of instant glue to Vasya. Vasya takes the tube, unscrews the cap, and fills the keyhole with its contents. The glue instantly hardens..
VASYA
Well, there goes the control test.
OLEG
Respect, Vasya. I wasn't prepared for it at all.
SERGEY
And who was prepared?
VASYA
Alright, let's disperse. Otherwise, Kikimora will come any minute now.
The guys move aside and stand by the window on the opposite side of the corridor. FILYA enters the corridor, wearing glasses, sees Vasya with his friends, and turns around. But Vasya notices him and shouts.
VASYA
Hey, nerd, where are you off to? Come over here?!
Filya walks towards Vasya with his head down. He approaches and stands in front of him..
VASYA (continuing)
So, did you bring it?
FILYA
(Voice trembling)
Yes.
Filya takes a wallet out of his pocket. He opens it with trembling hands, takes out several banknotes, and hands them to Vasya.
Vasya takes them with a smirk, looks at the amount and puts them in the pocket of his trousers.
VASYA
That's all?
FILYA
Yes. Just as you said.
SERGEY
And what's this? A debt?
VASYA
The counter. The Mongol-Tatar tribute. It breathes my air and walks in my neighborhood. That's why it pays for it.
OLEG
Why didn't you tell us that you're betting on the counter for suckers?
VASYA
So you didn't ask.
OLEG
I want in on it too. Hey, give me your wallet.
Oleg snatches the wallet from Fyodor's hands.
OLEG (continuing)
Mine. Now get out of here yourself. Quickly. Before your liver is intact.
Oleg boldly spins Filya by the shoulder and kicks him in the buttocks. Filya quickly moves away. Vasya's classmates gather by the classroom. Vasya stands at the window with the crowd.
KIRILL
You came up with a cool idea. We should bet on the counter for the whole school.
VASYA
And the seniors too?
KIRILL
No, until our level.
SERGEY
The younger grades will fail. They're not up to speed on these matters yet.
VASYA
I thought about it, but there was never enough time to organize this business.
VALERA
Let's do it now and with a plan?!
VALERA
In short, what's the deal? Each of us in the gang takes money from suckers, and half of it goes towards communal expenses. I'll be in charge of the communal living space. Those who snitch will be dealt with by the group. Are you in?
OLEG
That's true. But it's not your idea?!
VALERA
I saw a movie about it.
OLEG
And how will you know if BOB, for example, is snitching?
BOB
Listen, you pygmy. Who did you call a snitch?
OLEG
Relax, BOB. I'm just kidding.
VALERA
Any nonsense will become clear. You can always ask a sucker.
VALERA
That's right.
The teacher approaches the classroom and starts trying to insert the key into the lock. However, the key doesn't fit into the keyhole. As the bell rings for the lesson, Vasya and his friends approach the classroom.
BOB
(Smugly)
What's the matter, Galina Petrovna? Can't get it open?
PHYSICS TEACHER
The key doesn't seem to fit for some reason.
SERGEY
That's a shame. And I was all prepared for the test, just my luck.
MISHA
Me too.
GRISHA
Me too.
VALERA
Perhaps you grabbed the wrong key?
The guys leave the classroom and head towards the exit of the building. Other students follow suit and disperse.
PHYSICS TEACHER
Alright. Nobody is dispersing.
MASHA
Yes, we're heading to the cafeteria.
DASHA
There are chairs there.
VASILISA
And to grab a bite to eat.
The girls leave. The teacher watches them go, then she is left alone. She later heads in the direction of the teacher's lounge as well.
Chapter 3
Outside in the courtyard, Vasya's group is sitting on the benches feeling bored. The teacher of labor lessons, Semen Gavrilovich, enters the courtyard with a spade on his shoulder.
OLEG
O. Gorilych is coming.
SERGEY
He is scratching with a shovel?
VASYA
And he was recently pranked by the high school students.
OLEG
It was high time.
VALERA
It was long overdue?
VALERA
He gave them bad grades for skipping classes, and they tracked him down in the evening. They put a bag over his head and beat him up. Yet, he lives a couple of blocks away from the school. He walks to avoid a heart attack.
BOB
We should also include the physical education teacher.
VALERA
For what? He is a good guy.
BOB
He's sniffing around Dasha. He helps her with the bridge exercise in PE and plants kisses on her buns.
VASYA
What's it to you?
BOB
She complained that he helped her too intimately.
VASYA
Надо наказать.
AND THE DEAN is coming.
AND THE DEAN
Are you guys just sitting there? What lesson do you have?
OLEG
So, Galina Petrovna broke the lock and the lesson got cancelled.
AND THE DEAN
Ah, the idiots. They probably broke it themselves to sabotage the lesson. Fine. Go to Semen Gavrilovich, get a broom, and sweep the school yard.
VASYA
And you know, Elena Pavlovna, that the use of child labor is prohibited.
AND THE DEAN
Don't act smart. What kind of kids are you? You're scenting a kilometer away.
AND THE DEAN is going back to school.
OLEG
And what, are we going to sweep?
VASYA
Like hell. She's just joking.
In the canteen, MASHA, DASHA, and Vasilisa are sitting at a table and drinking juice with pastries.
MASHA
Well done, boys. You messed up the test.
VASILISA
I shouldn't have bothered preparing. I thought I would finish the quarter with an.
DASHA
Don't be upset, my friend. The Kikimora can gather everyone separately during non-lesson time and administer the test.
MASHA
That's right.
VASILISA
But I have a feeling that Vasya and his gang can mess this up too. I wouldn't want that.
DASHA
Then they'll end up with a failing grade. They're losers in physics anyway.
MASHA
But they're cool in life.
VASILISA
What are you talking about?
MASHA
Oleg is my brother. He told me that Vasya constantly comes up with ways to make money at parties. And the best part is, they manage to stay unnoticed by the police.
VASILISA
I've heard about it. But all this is illegal. Someday they'll get caught and end up with a prison sentence.
MASHA
Don't you care about it? I couldn't care less if Oleg ends up in trouble. It's his life.
VASILISA
But we still need to talk about it?!
MASHA
Yes, we've already talked about it. It's like talking to a brick wall.
VASILISA
But I feel sorry for them.
DASHA
(mockingly)
All of them, or just Vasya?
VASILISA
Alright, forget it, girlfriends.
MASHA
(smiling)
Alright, alright. You can tell from your eyes that you've fallen for him. Isn't that right, Vasilina?
DASHA
Well, that's right. She's Vasilisa, and he's Vasiliy. Both Vasikis. Oh, oh, oh! Vasya, I love you. And I love you, Vasya!
VASILISA
Stop it, Dasha. I want to help him improve. He has thoughtful eyes, and he could be useful in our microbiology club. School is not forever, and we need to think about the future.
DASHA
And you try. Maybe we will take someone under our patronage too?! He's just a little creepy.
VASILISA
You are talking about Vasya?
DASHA
He has a strong smell of tobacco mixed with alcohol on his breath.
MASHA
So he's not kissing. OLEG also has odors. I give him chewing gum in such cases.
VASILISA
I haven't noticed. But I will also give a gift when the opportunity arises, but only eucalyptus-flavored lollipops. I don't like it when someone chews and talks.
DASHA
And he has a mean face. I have never seen him smile. What did you see in him? He is the type who could hit a woman with a child.
MASHA
Stop babbling nonsense.
VASILISA
He can be corrected. He has thoughts in his eyes.
DASHA
And nonsense in his head.
Chapter 4
In the parking lot, there are many bicycles attached with a chain passed through all the front wheels, and at the end, the chain is locked with a padlock. Vasya and his buddies, wearing medical masks, approach in a group, and Vasya cuts the lock shackle with bolt cutters. Sergey, from the other side, pulls out the chain, each one takes and rolls out a bike, they jump on and quickly ride away. Security guards run out and try to catch them. The cyclists manage to escape.
SERGEY
(At full throttle)
And where to now?
VASYA
(At full throttle)
To the Kirovsky district, to the indoor market. I have a buddy there, a Tajik guy who runs a sports shop. We'll give it to him. I've already called him. He's waiting with the money.
OLEG
(At full throttle)
And how much will he pay?
VASYA
(At full throttle)
Enough joking around.
The cyclists arrive at the sports shop and ride up to the loading dock. Tajik comes out, hands over a wad of money. Vasya takes it.
VASYA
How much?
TAJIK
VASYA. You know me. I won't cheat you.
VASYA
That's the way it is.
TAJIK
You also have visas for bicycles, mopeds. Bring everything. They buy used ones well.
VASYA
Agreed.
TAJIK enters the building, while VASYA and the guys go towards the exit from the back yard of the market.
VASYA
Well, pack, where are we heading now?
SERGEY
In D-club.
OLEG
You're kidding?
VASYA
What's wrong with that? How are we worse than the rich kids? Maybe we'll even scare someone a bit.
OLEG
Okay. But how are we gonna do it, call a taxi again?
VALERA
Yeah. Let's take a minibus.
VASYA's crew 'Tankograd' approaches the food stall with hot meals.
MISHA
Oh, come on, we can take the tram. Just buy some shawarma to go.
GRISHA
We're not picky.
BOB
Мы народные.
VASYA
Who are we, guys?
ALL SINGING TOGETHER
Tankograd crew! Brothers for life! We're cooler than any other gang!
LEXA
Are we gonna call some girls? It's not the same without our lady friends.
VALERA
Let OLEG bring his Masha and her friends. They'll come along?
OLEG
And where will they disappear to? They want a free ride and sweet balsamic. But no rudeness. Especially not from Vasya 'Vasykina.
VASYA
How did you come up with that?
OLEG
Rumors are going around. She and her friends apparently decided to correct you.
VASYA
What? No way. Only death can 'correct' me. I live by my principles. And wouldn't betray my buddies for some cash. Although, I do have a proposal for them to make some easy money. What do you think, OLEG? Will they agree?
OLEG
Where can they go? But first, they need to get pumped up.
7. НАТ./INТ. CHELYABINSK/KIROVKA – EVENING
MASHA, DASHA, VASILISA, A TIPSY GUY, GRANDMOTHER
In the evening on Kirovka, DASHA, MASHA, and VASILISA stand provocatively. A TIPSY GUY approaches them with a bottle of beer in hand and a wallet under his arm.
A TIPSY GUY
Girls, are you working?
MASHA
And for what purpose are you inquiring?
A TIPSY GUY
Just wanted to relax, that's all.
VASILISA
Then go ahead, relax.
A TIPSY GUY
Oh, you've misunderstood. I just want to blow off some steam.
DASHA
And do you have the money?
A TIPSY GUY
How come.
The tipsy guy reaches into his pocket and pulls out a wad of rubles.
A TIPSY GUY (continuing)
I can treat you all, and even book a room for you at the hotel.
DASHA
Will there be enough strength for three?
A TIPSY GUY
Well, then let's go?
VASILISA
Only on our territory.
A TIPSY GUY
Agreed. How much?
MASHA
You'll pay at the place.
MASHA is the first to head into the nearest yard. DASHA and VASILISA follow her, exchanging glances with the tipsy guy.
DASHA
So, what are you waiting for? Are you coming or not?
A TIPSY GUY
Are you going to ask for my name?
DASHA
Why? Are you going to invite us to get married?! We already have boyfriends.
The guy grins and follows them. He stops, takes a sip of beer, and then catches up with them.
A TIPSY GUY
How old are you all?
DASHA
Don't worry. They won't arrest you.
The girls approach the entrance and go inside. The guy follows them. The girls walk up the stairs. VASYA and Sergey come out from the darkness of the entrance, put a bag over the guy's head. The other guys come running in from the street and press the guy against the wall. They start searching him and taking his money and belongings. Then VASYA hits him in the stomach. The guy falls, gasping for air, and all the robbers with the girls run out onto the street. The guy comes to, removes the bag from his head, and stands up.
A TIPSY GUY
I've been robbed, you scoundrels.
GRANDMOTHER (behind the scenes)
Are you feeling ill?
Asks the GRANDMOTHER from the stair landing and walks down the stairs.
GRANDMOTHER
I hear some noise, what's going on.
A TIPSY GUY
They've been robbed. The crew was left without pay. What should I tell them?
GRANDMOTHER
Are you a construction worker?
A TIPSY GUY
Foreman of the construction team. Interior finishing.
GRANDMOTHER
Well, why didn't you use a credit card?
A TIPSY GUY
Yes, we work illegally. We are from Ukraine. Without a contract.
GRANDMOTHER
We need to call the police.
A TIPSY GUY
What's the use, no injuries? The youngsters handled it professionally. And there's no registration either.
A TIPSY GUY
You should drink less.
Grandmother goes out onto the street.
GRANDMOTHER (behind the scenes)
There are too many newcomers here. They've urinated in all the staircases.
Chapter 5
In the nearest square from Kirovka, boys and girls are sitting on a bench. They are counting and dividing the guy's money.
VASYA
They made quite a haul. Three rubles each for the job.
LEXA
Not to mention the common capital?
VASYA
Yeah, that sucker had seventy bucks in cash.
MASHA
In other words?
OLEG
It's sketchy to refer to thousands as rubles these days.
MASHA
А.
SERGEY
He's probably a dealer. Died pretty well from the drugs.
VASYA
No, doesn't seem like it.
Vasya is giving out shares to everyone.
VASYA (continuing)
Dealers usually hide money in their pants if they don't want to show off in banks. But he kept it in his pocket. Most likely, he stole a car, died, and decided to have some fun.
DASHA
Well, that's good. He won't report it to the police.
OLEG
(laughing)
He wouldn't have reported it anyway. No bruises means no crime.
VASILISA
Don't divide me up.
VASYA
And why is that?
VASILISA
If I knew it would turn out like this, I wouldn't have agreed.
VASYA
Is that correct?
VASILISA
Okay, I'm going home.
DASHA
Vas, where are you going? Nothing happened, right? Just teasing the rabbit and everything is fine?!
VASILISA
And who among you came up with the humane idea of extorting money?
GRISHA
Hmm. Who?! Among us, only one brain. Vasya.
VASYA
Well, who doesn't know him? Okay, let's go for a glass of shawarma?
VASILISA
Alright, folks, see you tomorrow. Girls, you're coming with me?
VASYA
We'll manage even without her.
DASHA
And why not.
Everyone is starting to move from their spot and leave the courtyard.
MISHA
Maybe we'll surprise someone else with a visit?
VASYA
No. The main thing is to jump at the right time with luck. Otherwise, you might just bounce back from luck.
DASHA
Golden words! Are you seeing me off today? My parents went to the village.
VALERA
And for a long time?
DASHA
For a week.
VALERA
So maybe after shawarma, we'll all come over to your place?
DASHA
(disgusted)
I'm not against it.
VASYA
Oh, how I love you all! And why did that silly girl jump off? Putting on a princess act.
MISHA
She's with the panties.
BOB
I don't understand those kinds of people. And what's criminal about it? Just hugged the guy together, and he thanked them.
NOTE: VASYA'S FAMILY CONSISTS OF HIS YOUNGER SISTER LENKA, GRANDMOTHER, GRANDFATHER, MOTHER AND FATHER
On the kitchen, VASYA was sitting with his whole family. Everyone was having breakfast. MOTHER was staring at VASYA intently and sternly. VASYA paid no attention and continued eating calmly.
MOTHER
You have nothing to tell us?
VASYA
What do you mean?
MOTHER
(exploding)
No. Just look at him. He doesn't even blush.
FATHER
Why are you biting him again? He's just a guy. Especially a teenager.
MOTHER
Why are you defending him again? They want to put him on the record in the child's police room.
GRANDFATHER
It's not scary. It would be scary if he faced a prison sentence, now that's scary.
GRANDMOTHER
What are you up to? Have you completely lost your mind?
GRANDFATHER
Actually, they are a family. Let them raise their children..
FATHER
Yes, GRANDFATHER. You jumped down smoothly.
MOTHER
(shouting)
Are you going to keep mocking me like this?
Suddenly MOTHER shouts, making everyone startle. MOTHER starts crying.
MOTHER (continuing)
(crying)
If he gets in trouble with the law, he won't be able to go to university. And without a degree, what will he become? A bum?
GRANDFATHER
I don't have a degree. It doesn't matter, your daughter raised you. And your MOTHER finished only two classes and went to herd geese.
GRANDMOTHER
Well, why are you lying again. It was my MOTHER who herded geese, and I have a vocational school under my belt.
VASYA
Anyway, the disciplinary conversation is postponed indefinitely.
VASYA gets up from the table and goes to his room. He enters the room, turns on the music, and lies down on his bed. MOTHER enters.
MOTHER
Tomorrow after school, the juvenile affairs inspector wants to see you for a conversation. And don't even think about not going.
VASYA
I'll go to this Surma.
MOTHER
Not Surma, but Surma Natalia Viktorovna. And watch your behavior when you're there.
VASYA
Of course, dear mother. I will give her flowers.
MOTHER
You're joking?
Mother leaves the room offended.
In the office, the whole gang of Vasiliy is sitting. The inspector stands in front of them, resembling a teacher.
INSPECTOR
So be it. My name is Natalya Viktorovna Surma. I am your juvenile affairs INSPECTOR. I have received many complaints about you from teachers. Now, you will come to me after classes and do your homework under supervision here.
VASYA
(indignantly)
What about personal time?
INSPECTOR
The cleverest one?
VASYA
No. But now it's not the USSR. It was GRANDFATHER who told me how they were mustered back then.
VASYA
Nowadays, you can make money even without education.
INSPECTOR
I would answer you. You're talkative. But it's complicated for you. There is information that you extort money from schoolchildren. And that already smells like a felony.
VASYA
And who misinformed you like this?
INSPECTOR
That's right, those whom you're shaking down are completely denying it. But their parents and teachers have seen and heard it all.
VASYA
When you have concrete evidence, then I will come to you for lessons.
Vasya gets up from the chair.
VASYA(continuing)
Well, unfortunately, I won't be coming to you. We have democracy, not the dictatorship of the proletariat. And I can perfectly manage my free time.
INSPECTOR
Playing with fire, Vasya.
Vasya leaves the office, followed by the others, one after another.
INSPECTOR
Where are you going?
SERGEY
We are together anyway.
VALERA
We are participating in the "Dirty Dancing" contest at D-club, located on Kirovka.
Chapter 6
There are a lot of people partying at the nightclub and the music is playing loudly. Adults are sitting at the tables drinking. VASYA and his friends approach the entrance, but they are stopped by the security..
VASYA
(angrily)
What's the problem??
THE GUARD
Show me your passport?
SERGEY
Oh, forget it, boss.
THE GUARD
I will show you so hard that you won't seem like enough.
VASYA
Don't play around, buddy. We're compensating for moral damages. Will fifty rubles be enough?" – VASYA pulls out two five-thousand ruble bills and hands them to THE GUARD.
THE GUARD
Darn. I could lose my job if the garbage will take you.
VASYA
And we will be obedient. Honest pioneers.
THE GUARD
Well, look. If you set me up, I'll beat you with a belt myself.
VASYA
Agreed.
VASYA and his friends walk inside and head towards an empty table. On the elevated stage, half-naked strippers with voluptuous bare breasts are dancing.
VALERA
(mouth wide open)
Wow! Real ones!
VASYA
Close your mouth, or you'll catch a cold in your guts.
The waitress girl approaches their table.
THE WAITRESS GIRL
What will you be ordering?
OLEG
Borscht, compote, and an entree.
The waitress looks serious.
THE WAITRESS GIRL
We don't have that here. That's something you'd find at a canteen.
VASYA
Girl, he's joking. Bring us something not too strong and a bite to eat, at your discretion.
SERGEY
Beer and gin with tonic.
THE WAITRESS GIRL
And how old are you guys? You can't drink alcohol?
VASYA
Don't be silly, girl. If we didn't pass the age requirement, they wouldn't have let us in here.
THE WAITRESS GIRL
Sorry.
THE WAITRESS GIRL goes to the bartender. Underage youngsters, slightly tipsy, dance to modern music among the crowd. The girls dance without restraint, resembling strippers. Suddenly, a special forces unit bursts into the room with guns and masks. They make everyone lie on the floor. Those who do not obey are beaten with rifle butts. Afterward, they are taken away by bus to the nearest police station. Vasya and his buddies are also led out to the bus. As detainees, they are handcuffed.
VASYA
Now we will have to come to Surna to learn the lessons specifically.
SERGEY
That's for sure.
In the corridor, the parents of all the teenagers detained in the strip club are waiting. Vasya's MOTHER and FATHER arrive. A police officer leads the teenagers out, and they timidly approach their parents. Vasya looks at his MOTHER and sees tears streaming down her face.
MOTHER
(Offended)
Traitor.
MOTHER leaves the building first.
FATHER
Nobody beat you?
VASYA
No, they just had a conversation with me.
FATHER
Where did you get so much money from?
VASYA
Found it at the bus stop.
FATHER
Alright. We'll talk about this at home. Now they will send the paper for work. They will take away the bonuses and issue a fine. Yes, son, I did not expect this from you.
VASYA
But you weren't like this before?
FATHER
Yes, I also had my wild times until I got married.
Vasya and his father exit the building and follow his mother. They get into the car and drive away.
In the classroom with desks, Vasya and all his friends sit in the presence of Inspector Natalya Viktorovna Surna. They are working on their homework. Inspector Surna is writing something and only occasionally throws a glance at the offenders.
VASYA
That's it, Natalya Viktorovna. I'm done. Will you check it?
INSPECTOR
Why? Your teacher will check it and inform me. If you lied, you will come here for another month. But if not, I will stop your visits in a month. The choice is yours.
VASYA
May God bless you.
INSPECTOR
Are you mocking me?
Friends look at Vasya with a surprised smile.
During the lesson, Vasya sits at the back of the class at the desk with Serega. The teacher is looking at a journal. There is silence in the classroom.
OLEG
Vasya. Do you want to do something funny?
VASYA
Speak.
OLEG
My sister's friends bought a snake online.
VASYA
Cool.
Oleg raises his jacket and the head of a small snake appears from the inner pocket.
VASYA
Is it poisonous?
OLEG
No, it's not. It's a non-venomous species. A Corn Snake. But it's still a teenager.